THE Fan's View

Wimbledon Rangers have lots of fans, but one however shines above the rest; ROBERT COOK.

Fan's Views

This year, in my key role as The Fan, I have attended the last twenty minutes of most Wimbledon Rangers matches with a slavish, almost zombie-like devotion. The Rangers (known affectionately as 'The Whippets' and unaffectionately as 'Team Seb') have gone from strength to strength, and I have been proud to support them enthusiastically from the sidelines. Despite a languid start to the season, I must say that under my nourishing gaze they have flourished, and the boys done good. Just as the innovation of Polykleitan contrapposto revolutionised classical statuary, so the Whippets exploded onto the Morden football scene like Sammy after erotic thriller night on Channel 5. Who can forget the many memorable events that the year has brought, such....the time a dog stole Moses' football, and the creation of 'Wimbledon Rangers: The Musical', the most fantastic, critically acclaimed piece since the release of S Club 7's 'Reach For the Stars'? The players of Wimbledon Rangers have worked hard and practised a lot to reach this cup final ('the future annihilating Agamemnon'), all attending training sessions (with the exception of one particular person) and beating Samuel Moss' Hopeless XI on a regular basis in friendlies outside the league. The team is to be commended for the way that it has melded to form one seamless, lucid unit, just as the rose blendeth its odour with the violet, solution sweet.

From the Cannae they inflicted in their first game against Troopers, to the Zama that today's final will undoubtedly be, the Whippets will go down in the annals of youth footballing history, and, even if they lose, will still pick up more silverware this season than Manchester United.

I say to you, Wimbledon Rangers, especially Alan and Fergal, in immortal words that I'm sure were first uttered by Keats:
'Live long and prosper.'

Wimbledon's whipping of Wickham leaves Robert relieved

Despite being Rangers' most loyal fan for well over four months Robert Cook has been remained an object of ridicule. Although a prespective student at Oxford Unversity, Mr Cook has been derided by the players he turns out to support virtually every week. For prior to today (23/2/2002), the only 3 occasions that Robert has been absent have coincided with the Whippets only victories. However thanks to a last minute goal from Rangers' captain Philip Simmons, Robert is no longer seen as a curse on the team